To the Keeper of My Son’s Traditions – Finding Cooper’s Voice


To my son’s future caregiver…

When he was three he was diagnosed with severe nonverbal autism.

We had no idea what the future held. And honestly, we weren’t told much good.

When he was 8, I made the decision to walk away from the negativity. The sad predictions. And the people who didn’t believe in him. Or see his strengths.

It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

His favorite thing to do is to decorate for Christmas. He will help for a bit. He even does a lot of the heavy lifting and carrying of tubs and bins up the stairs.

He gasps a lot. And points. He claps. He points to the chimney and says his word for Santa.

He also tattles on his siblings when they make a mess.

And he watches shows on his iPad about Christmas. When he hears a song he loves his hands will dance in the air.

Something just hit me a minute ago.

One day I won’t be here to decorate for him.

And it hurts so much. Knowing he will be here without me.

So I write this prayer. Here. So everyone sees it. So hopefully you see it.

Please make a huge deal over Christmas. I mean, like really huge.

Decorate every space. Make it nearly ridiculous. Because he loves it so much.

And he counts down the days. He waits for these days all year. They are his favorite. When his whole family is crammed into the house. When it’s loud and chaotic.

You have to make a big deal about the things he loves. Please. For me. And for him. I have to know that you will.

I will put money aside marked Christmas. Just so you have it.

Ps. Birthdays are a big deal too. Maybe even bigger.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.

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