Developing a Sense of Humor

Alex Kocan, a dad and student nurse from Nottingham, England, shares his and his wife’s joy in their autistic son’s remarkable progress. This story highlights their son’s development of a sense of humor and social skills, showcasing how support and encouragement can foster significant growth and connection.

Alex hopes his story will inspire and motivate other parents of autistic children who may share his worries and challenges.

Alex’s success story: Understanding autism

Before discovering that our son was on the autistic spectrum, we knew very little about the condition. I had only heard snippets about autism, which mostly turned out to be stereotypes. There was also a lack of knowledge on my part. 

I had heard about traits such as having no empathy and being nonverbal. Our son had empathy and never stopped talking, at least not about the topics that interested him.

The other trait I had heard about was that autistic people lack a sense of humor. Our son didn’t, and over the past year or so, he has developed a wicked sense of humor. 

Alex’s story: His son’s love for cartoons and comedy

He has always enjoyed watching funny cartoons like Tom and Jerry and Mr. Bean, though he didn’t often respond to their comedy. This was due to a need for a deeper understanding of the intended meaning of the words.

Now, my son enjoys watching comedy shows like Man vs. Bee on Netflix and comedy clips on social media.

He also now understands sarcasm, laughs at slapstick comedy, and enjoys tormenting people (mostly his little sister and me) as he thinks it’s funny. It is so refreshing to hear him laughing as much as he does. 

He also purposely makes us all laugh by doing silly voices, making funny faces, and performing little dances, TikTok style. It is wonderful to see this cheeky side of his personality developing before our eyes. 

He doesn’t feel comfortable letting this side of himself out with everyone, but he does so with family in our house and aunts, uncles, and grandparents who visit.

Alex’s story: Noticing the development of humor

His class teacher has reported that he has often been seen smiling and laughing while listening to the teachers talking amongst themselves. This is because he now can extract the humor from their conversation, whereas other children in his class were not necessarily able to do so.

This development was such a significant change. It allowed my son to become so much more expressive. However, he still struggles to understand and relay his emotions without frustration and anger.

Alex’s story: His son’s social improvement

Another change occurred simultaneously with his understanding of humor. His social skills have also begun to improve.

He was only invited to one party for the entirety of his education within a mainstream school. He was not bothered about this in the slightest, but it broke our hearts.

It was a gymnastics party, and they had to follow instructions and complete tasks in a specific order. It was quite complicated for a six-year-old’s birthday celebration.

Most of the parents left their children and returned to collect them at the party’s end. However, I stayed knowing that it would either be overwhelming for my son, or the organizers of the party would not know how to cope with his unpredictable behavior.

He appeared to enjoy the food and being there, though he didn’t understand that he needed to follow instructions, even though I attempted to explain many times what he was supposed to do.

It was very upsetting that the other children’s parents were not including our beautiful boy in activities that others were being invited to outside of school time.

We had to accept that it was our problem – we were upset; our son wasn’t. His awareness wasn’t developed enough to realize that there was a party, let alone that he was being left out. He was quite happy to be immersed in whatever activity drew his attention.

He now can build relationships with his classmates and play with them, talking and laughing. He also misses them on the weekends and looks forward to seeing them again.

It is a joy to see the positive differences within him, and these changes have also improved his confidence and ability to handle stressful situations.

This article was featured in Issue 167: Autism and Finances: Planning for Your Future

If you have a success story you would like to share with us and our readers, you can email it to us or submit your story here.

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