My daughter is 15 years old; she is autistic and has sensory processing disorder and anxiety.
She is only semi-verbal, and for us, that means she has words to make requests, she can echo words and phrases, and she can answer yes or no questions with about 80 percent accuracy. However, she does not have conversational language skills.
I cannot ask her how she feels and get an answer back.
Every once in a while, in the wee hours of the night, I am awoken by the sound of my daughter’s voice from across the room: “Mama’s here, baby. Mama’s here.”
I don’t know if she is trying to see if I am in the room or if she is echoing the words she has heard me say to her during moments of sadness or angst, to give herself a sense of comfort and peace.
What I do know is that she will repeat the phrase until I answer her back with the words, “Mama’s here, baby. Mama’s here.” That seems to quiet her, and she will either drift back off to sleep or lie happily in her bed until it is time to get up in the morning.
She may not have conversations with me, but in that moment, I know she needs me in some way, and those words give her whatever she is searching for in the quiet darkness of the night.
I hope my daughter knows that no matter what happens in this life, anytime she is feeling alone in the dark—whether literally or figuratively—Mama will always be here, baby. Mama will always be here.
Written by Laura Simzyk of Olivia’s Extraordinary Journey
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