Increasingly over the past few years, there have been more conversations about autistic burnout which is great to see, as still can be easily misunderstood. I experienced my worst autistic burnout before I even knew I was autistic, and ultimately this burnout was one of the factors that led to the discovery I was autistic nearly 6 years ago now!
But before we get into my experiences, what exactly is autistic burnout?
Burnout describes somebody who is experiencing physical, mental and emotional exhaustion to the point where they cannot do anything (or hardly anything at all). Often people will need to hibernate from daily life for a period of time to recover from burnout – and the amount of time this can take will vary. What makes autistic burnout different from regular burnout is the reasons we become burnout. Often it comes from having to exist in environments that are not autistic friendly and where we have to heavily mask our autism which takes up a lot of energy (compared to non-autistic people). Most environments often aren’t inclusive of autistic ways of communicating (hence the masking), are overwhelming sensory wise and placing too many demands on us that we can’t manage, meaning it is all too easy to slip into autistic burnout.
Autistic burnout can be very difficult and hard to manage, and in my book ‘Young, Autistic and ADHD’, I discuss ways to manage, prevent and come out of autistic burnout. However, something I haven’t written about is my own experience with autistic burnout. So I thought I’d share some of my experiences here.
My own autistic burnout
In my life so far, I have experienced one period autistic burnout, where I was unable to work for months and moved back into my parents home (thankfully that was an option at the time). There were certainly other times where I came close to it, but what happened this time?
Well, I was working in my first full-time ‘big girl’ job. It became very clear within weeks that this job was not sustainable for me. I was working 6 days a week with a long daily commute on top. I really didn’t have a life and I was in this job for a year. In hindsight, I should have left earlier on (it certainly would have prevented burnout). It was a 12 month contract, and because of that I felt compelled to stay for the whole 12 months, I took it very literally. If I knew I was autistic back then and had the understanding about autism that I have now, I would have found a way to leave before the 12 months were up.
So I was pushing myself in a job for several months longer than I should have, which almost certainly was the main trigger for my burnout. In the build up to the burnout, I was spending almost every waking moment I wasn’t at work in bed. I was no longer able to cook and prepare food for myself, almost exclusively living off takeaways and food that needed no preparation, straight out of the packet. I also had physical health symptoms that were horrific in my final few weeks in the job. I feel like this aspect isn’t talked enough about. How it affected my physical health isn’t something I feel comfortable sharing publicly, but it did significantly. I shared my thoughts about autistic burnout and physical health on social media, and it certainly resonated with other autistic people.
The only solution for myself was to hibernate, which I did for a few months before I came out of burnout. I had no energy, felt extremely low and unable to look after myself in ways I could pre-burnout. My support needs increased significantly during this time. Also, within a few weeks of hibernating, my physical symptoms had resolved themselves without any further medical interventions.
What else is there to know about autistic burnout?
It is a well known fact that autistic people are woefully underemployed or unemployed compared to the general population. One of the reasons for this is a lot of jobs aren’t accommodating of autistic people’s needs, meaning we can be more likely to burn out from work. I know I am far from the only autistic person who has been burnt out from a job. For me I was working too many hours, alongside a long commute and a job that I wasn’t well suited to. I had to mask heavily while I was there, more so compared to other jobs I’ve had. That is why I had an autistic burnout.
It is important to note that work is not the only thing that can burn out autistic people. Some other examples include; having to attend school and education provisions that are not fully autism informed in their practice (so almost all of them), carrying out too many daily living tasks which is more than we can manage (and the combination of doing this alongside work/education), and not having all our support needs met.
Also, coming out from an autistic burnout can take time, and everyone’s journey out of burnout will be different. The only bit of advice I can give is to rest as much as you can and for forever how long it takes. For some people it may take years. Coming out from an autistic burnout is a very individual thing based on your own needs and personal situation. That’s why I titled this blog post ‘my experience of autistic burnout’, as I can only speak to my own experiences of it, and what helped me.
I hope autistic burnout is something you never experience if you are autistic (or will in the future). However, I know how all too common it can be, and I hope that anybody reading this who is in or is coming out of an autistic burnout is able to get back to living a better quality of life soon.
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments about autistic burnout. Have you experienced autistic burnout too? If so, was your experience similar to mine or not? It would be great to discuss.
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You can also support the blog by purchasing my book ‘Young Autistic and ADHD: Moving into adulthood when you’re multiply neurodivergent’.
