A Thank You Letter to My Kids, the “Typical” Siblings
I know having a sibling with special needs has not been easy on any of you.
Autism is like a kaleidoscope. While it certainly brings a lot of color to our life, each piece is different from the rest. Every twist gives a different view, and the effect is different for everyone.
Autism has not only altered your sister’s life but the lives of all of us who love her and walk beside her. It is overlooked how much the siblings are affected in this life.
It has affected each one of you differently, but you have all been impacted. I am grateful for all of you and the role you each play, loving her and helping her navigate through this complicated life.
To my son,
You made me a mother. I had great plans for us, and when your sister came along, you were just shy of three. I was so excited for her to join us; it was going to be even better. Things didn’t go as planned. Autism threw the most unexpected curveball at us. You were affected the most.
You were there through the hardest of the hard. I was completely overwhelmed and heartbroken and tried to be as present as I could. Your sister took so much of my time and energy, but I tried my best to be there for both of you. You were my anchor, but you were just a little boy.
You loved her so much and were one of the only ones who could get in her world and reach her. I know it made you a stronger, more resilient person, but I also know you missed out on a lot. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving her and always making her laugh.
Kierra, my most unexpected gift.
The girl who came into our lives and our hearts when we least expected it. At first, Alyssa ignored you, and then, when you became more independent, she made it clear there was only one princess around here. In time, she got used to you; she would watch you so intently, like she didn’t know what to make of you. Eventually, you wormed your way into her heart.
You became her person. She would smother you with her love. Always by your side anytime she was anxious, you were her comfort. You didn’t understand what a big deal it was. She wasn’t like that with anyone else before. It was a lot for a young girl to take on.
As much as she loved you, it was you she lashed out on. I know it wasn’t easy. You loved her anyway, and I am so grateful. Her whole face lights up when you walk into a room; you bring her so much joy, and I thank you for that.
Lexi, the baby of the family, our little firecracker.
When you came along, Alyssa knew what to expect. You tapped into her maternal instincts. She loved to help change you, give you your binky, and pick up all the toys you would throw.
A lot of the tougher times we had, you were too little to remember. Alyssa learned so much by watching you and your sister. You changed her, bonded with her, and matched her sass. Above all, you always thought of her and made sure we included her in everything. That means everything to me.
Now that you have grown older, your role has changed. You are more like her big sister, a role that you take on so beautifully. Letting her help you with the laundry, baking with her, always making sure she is taken care of and never forgotten. You are the most in tune with her.
I love you all with my whole heart and soul.
I know that you have all had to sacrifice and be left out of things. I know sometimes it was hard to be different.
I am sorry to all of you for the things you had to miss out on.
I am sorry for the times I couldn’t give the attention I wanted to give you, the attention you deserve.
I am sorry if you ever felt silenced or that your problems were less important.
Thank you for giving me grace and for giving your sister compassion, for loving her wholeheartedly, and understanding it’s not her fault.
Thank you for rising to the occasion and being troopers through it all. Even though it can be frustrating in the moment, you never resent her.
Thank you for helping her live her best life. She is incredibly lucky to have you, and so am I.
Written by Kimberly Mcisaac of Autism Adventures with Alyssa
Read more blog posts on Finding Cooper Voice here.
