Autism bossy behavior can confuse parents and caretakers. In some occasions, it can appear that an autistic person is trying to control something or act in a manner that puts them in control over others.
However, much of what seems to be bossiness actually reflects deeper struggles with anxiety, difficulty with social interaction, or rigid thinking. All of these can be core features of autism spectrum disorder.
As an adult, a good understanding of human behavior in general and why this behavior happens is crucial in teaching autistic children better ways of dealing with these situations.
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Autism Behavior Interventions
Understanding bossy behavior in autistic children
Some of the behaviors in autistic children that some may interpret as bossy or controlling may include telling people what to do or how to behave.
This may be evident in relationships, such as with family, school peers, and other social gatherings.
These behaviors may stem from challenges in maintaining eye contact and interpreting emotions and social cues, which are essential for understanding social interactions.
They are not usually trying to be rude or hurtful, but they may just have a very strong preoccupation with how they feel things should go.
For example, when I was around six and created train tracks at home with my brother, I would insist on always making sure a track goes under the bridge. If my brother constructed the train track in a different way, I would lose my temper.
What causes autism bossy behavior?
In autistic children, bossy behavior may be influenced by various factors. One of the main autistic traits that can contribute to bossy behavior is impaired social communication and interaction.
These autistic individuals may not fully understand some of the social etiquette of how to behave in casual conversations or even group activities. This can make them appear self-centered or controlling.
Many autistic children can also have social anxiety, which may range from small talk to regular play activities. Bossy behavior can be one of the numerous solutions to handle that anxiety.
By making sure that things around them are controlled with a strong focus, they ensure that there is predictability and order for their comfort, which may otherwise appear chaotic.
Children diagnosed with pathological demand avoidance (PDA), a subtype of autism spectrum disorder, often experience an intense urge to control their environment. This behavior is largely driven by their extreme avoidance of demands placed upon them.
This demand avoidance can be a self-balancing mechanism when they experience overwhelming feelings of anxiety or fear.
Management tips and strategies
Parents and caregivers can be very instrumental in guiding autistic individuals on how to manage bossy behavior. Here are five tips on how you can use them effectively.
1. Make sure there are clear boundaries
Autistic children do really well when situations have tons of structure. You should try to set clear expectations for behavior, helping them understand appropriate ways to interact with others.
For example, if they have an intense need to take control of family fun activities, you can find a system where each gets a turn at leading.
2. Teach flexibility
Autistic individuals can often think rigidly. To address any issues with this, you can encourage your child to be more flexible in their thinking.
For instance, if your child is rigid about creating a craft in a specific way, instead of getting annoyed, you can show them various ways to make it.
You can also engage in some role-playing to teach them social scenarios where children will be required to share control or compromise.
3. Support emotional understanding
Many autistic people can miss others’ emotions and body language, which can, unfortunately, lead to hurt feelings and social conflicts.
Teaching your child to understand and appropriately respond to others’ emotions will help them avoid bossy behaviors in their interactions with other people.
4. Be fully aware of sensory challenges
Sensory sensitivities with fluorescent lights or loud noises are other difficulties autistic people may face. When the environment is too much to bear, they might boss others around to attempt to control their surroundings.
Creating an environment without sensory triggers can minimize control issues.
5. Encourage self-confidence
Most of the time, the controlling behaviors autistic children exhibit are associated with anxiety. Therefore, helping them feel more self-confident may decrease this behavior.
Encouraging them to express their feelings and teaching them strategies to manage social anxiety can go a long way.
When to seek professional help
While guidance on bossy behavior at home may be effective in preventing conflict, there are those times when professional help is required.
If your child struggles with conflicts at school or within the family, and there are no signs of improvement, it may be time to seek help.
If they seem unable to manage social situations despite your efforts or become overly focused on specific interests to the point of resisting other activities, consulting a therapist or autism specialist could be beneficial.
Signs that it is time to seek help are:
- increased anxiety,
- withdrawal from social interaction,
- an increased preoccupation with the need to control things
These and other signs should be long-term and not just one-day situations.
Support and understanding
Bossy behavior in the context of autism requires patience, empathy, and understanding. Autistic behaviors are often a way to cope with the challenges they face in a world that can be confusing and overwhelming.
With appropriate support, strategies, and increased awareness of the triggers for such behaviors, parents and caregivers can effectively help autistic children deal more successfully with their social environments.
FAQs
Q: Do people with autism have control issues?
A: Controlling behaviors among autistic individuals can occur for various reasons, such as managing anxiety or creating predictability around situations that don’t meet their need for routine.
Q: What are autism manipulative behaviors?
A: An important thing to remember is that what seems like manipulative behavior in autistic people is often a result of difficulties understanding social rules.
Q: What makes autistic individuals angry?
A: Autistic individuals may become angry when they experience sensory overload, changes in routine, or misunderstandings during social interactions.
References
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